Is he for real?

Ponzi - Chris puts on the happy face to others because nobody goes to Hawaii and complains but he shows his true feelings to you, the one he trusts the most to be able to take his bad attitude. Of course, he is not realizing how that starts to bring you down after awhile. I suspect another root cause - either the financial aspects, the fact he didn't participate in the planning of the trip and activities, or some other subliminal issue. Tell him you are not going let his attitude affect how you enjoy this island pardise. He can get an attitude adjustment or he can spend the rest of the trip with a lot of alone time! Do not give him the power to ruin your trip. Good luck with getting things back on keel; enjoy Maui — with or without him!!!

OK, I read Chris' post and he attempts to provide some logic for his various bad behaviors. Based on the title of his post, I suspect he's now pissed off Maryam which might present Scoble with some type of reprecussion on the homefront…. Anyway, good luck trying to salvage the trip!

Frankly, I don't understand how you could be around him 24/7, 80% of his blogs are usually bitching about something, why would he be any different in person? My question would be why has it taken you so long to notice?

You need a vacation from vacation! Seriously, though, my husband and I always spend a little time apart doing whatever we want when on vacation (and if he wants to sulk alone as his thing, let him). There is such a thing as too much togetherness!

It's nice to read a post from you that is not gushing about how everything is “happy-happy-joy-joy” all the time. Your honesty, even in your bitchiness is a lot more interesting to read than the usual fare. Both of you need to sit down, relax and listen to one another, without trying to talk over one another as you usually do in your podcasts. Maybe if Chris promises to put a cork in it for the rest of the vacation, you can promise not to spend you guys' life savings, and the next vacation can be about something you would both enjoy. I have heard that a vacation can make or break a relationship, so you both may want to rethink a few of your strategies when this is all said and done. Good luck!

Chris is an immature asshole Ponzi. I hope to God you aren't going to ever marry him. I think you're finally getting to see the real Chris now that you've been in a relationship with him for a while. He drove his former wife away as well. You're probably getting a really clear picture of what “really” happened there now. My advice….run while you can. You have so much more going for you than he ever will. Don't limit yourself….

You can't take the farm out of the farmboy Ponzi. Chris was raised in a sterile test tube in Iowa. He doesn't understand culture and experiencing new things. He's like rainman if he doesn't have 6 fishsticks for supper every night. Dump the loser….

The only good comment was the 1st one.
It sounds like he might be stressed about something. Maybe find something that he and you would be comfortable doing? Who planned the trip?
Although, I agree with Chris, Alaskan cruise >> Hawaii

Aloha wahine and all that other good stuff. I read Chris's article as well, and I will agree with him when it comes to Poi :) The stuff is nasty no matter which way you turn it, toss it, season it, or stare at it. I thought it was chocolate pudding… bad experience.
Anyway, I hope the vacation is going great for you. Don't let him bring you down too much. If he doesn't want to go do the Island things, leave him in the hotel with internet access, and go see the sights. Maybe yall need a few hours apart or something.
And in his defense, if he is bitching about the money, he might be like I get (sometimes, not always): It's not that spending money is going to break us, it's just that we don't like spending money when it's outs. I get like that every now and then, but rarely.
Enjoy your vacation. If you get a chance, try haupia (cant remember how to spell it) if you havent already. I personally don't like coconut (from the thinking it was parmesan cheese incident many many years ago), but it is still an awesome desert from what I hear.

Nothing ruins a vacation like a constant wiener, I'm sorry Ponzi but over the last few years, just Listening to this guy bitch and moan about fonts and little things in Windows, you are living with an Anal Retentive asshole who spends way to much time in front of a computer screen.
DON'T Marry Him!!!

“Greatest thing since SLICED bread”
Not “light” bread.

woah.
if your in a high rise hotel room, just toss him over the balcony. :)
just kidding.
i think when one goes on a vacation laptops, pda's, and any other electronic device (except for maybe an ipod) should be left at home. slap him on the back of his head and tell him he can blog when he gets home.

Uh oh.
Sounds like trouble in paradise.

Chris is a whinney baby … a prima donna … an egotistical geek … please note you will not change him … marriage will not change him…
What you have witnessed this week is the beginning of attitude … not the limit of attitude. KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO!!!!
This is Chris and how he is … if thats okay marry the bloke … if its not run … run away … run away NOW!!!

At last !!! Ponzi, you need to drop this guy. Follow your heart sweety. This guy is going to hold you back and you will be miserable.

If you are asking the question odds are you already have the answer. Nothing like taking someone out of their comfort zone to see what they are really made of. I think you've been blessed with a view of what your future will be like………….
Oww! The babies crying is hurting my ears…tell it to stop right now.
I tolk you that I have very sensitive olafactory glands … I can't change that smelly diaper!
My tummy hurts!
Some of us didn't get that chance that you have. Make sure you make good use of it.
Hang 10.

Chris needs a mommy - constantly. You can either boink him or baby him… but not both.
He hasn't gotten it yet, he won't get it later with wife #2.

It's about time Chris gets to see how you really are. Hopefully he'll dump you before he gets stuck with you forever! All you ever do is whine. You are the epitome of the word bitch!

Chris can't seem to get beyind his personal experience to appreciate how you or others are experiencing the moment. His egocentric worldview is that of a child. That's why I unsubscribed form your podcast after one listen. How he talked to you was very old scholl mahco man I'm the boss style. If you want a more enlightened man I suggest you read David Deida Way of the Superior Man or Intimate Communion and see if he would read it or consider the possibilities of communicating without the incessant whining…

The subject should be “Is he gay?”
The answer would be YES!

I would pay very close attention to the comments you've received (minus the name-calling). I've been married for 40+ years to the same person, and we almost divorced each other over vacations. (Maybe you need to take separate vacations.) Having said that, you are seeing the “real” Chris, warts and all, away from the comforts of home. You may not like what you're seeing, but your “honey” is 31 or 32 years old and you are not going to be able to change him. Chris is a poster child for anal-retentive and you're not going to be able to change that either. You will have to make a decision as to whether the relationship will continue to marriage, or not because marriage will not improve him. If you want to have children, you will need somebody else to be their father, because I think that your geeky “honey” is too immature and too self-absorbed to be a father. You have so much going for you: intelligent, attractive, sensible, nice personality, sensible head on your shoulders; you deserve the very best guy out there, and perhaps he is not it. Only you know the answer to this one; maybe you should consider couples counseling so that you and he can work out your issues in a neutral setting

…chris needs a real vacation. needs to vacate. needs to go somewhere with no net access, no tv, no “activities”. of course, that's my favorite kind, in the caribbean (hawaii's too much like california). alas, chris would still complain about the heat…

Leave him home with a cellphone, and go get surfing lessons. Contemplate that you're in Hawaii, and not the dweeb who called you bitch.
Shelley at Burningbird

Ponzi, from all I've read from and about you over the years, I think you're great. And there are lots of things I really appreciate about Chris, but he's always seemed kind of self-centered.
I've read this post and Chris' response very carefully. While he may have a few reasonable points, and I think you've at least slightly exaggerated his complaints by summarizing and paraphrasing and therefore gently caricaturing them, I have to conclude he's taking advantage of your relationship with his constant immature complaining. The worst part is that he can't see what it's doing to you and I bet he can't see that he's done or said anything wrong and likely never will see it. These are some real classic signs of an underdeveloped personality.
So if you want to stick it out a few more years he might feel sorry and he might change and maybe stop complaining. You're better off getting out now. You're pretty fabulous and you deserve better.

he sounds like a BRAT.

I couldn't listen to you two podcasting. He speaks to you like a subordinate and I can't figure out what makes him think it ought to be he who is the alpha-male at all?
If you two are posting things like this publicly… well, the vacation is over. You've seen him in full colour. If he was 12 (*actually* 12) I'd think there was hope left. But, he's 30-something (going on 12). Nothing is going to change.
…it didn't for his first wife, did it?
ps: I wouldn't get sucked into Chris' version of anything that went wrong with that relationship, on face value. He doesn't see anything past his own self-absorbed world. But, you know this, right?

Listening to Chris on some of your podcasts, it is clear to me that he does not respect you. It is all about him and his whiney ass. You might either want to cut your losses and move on, or explain very clearly what needs to change for you to stick around.
Marriage is made up of good times and bad times, and accepting compromises. If good times are hell, what will happen when the shit hits the fan ?
Best of luck to you, and your couple if you think it is worth saving.

I'm not sure what's more annoying; Chris' attitude problems and clear immaturity, or your need for validation and immature venting about someone that you should be talking with in person or in counseling.
I can't think of much that's more passive-aggressive than whining about one's significant-other than blogging complaints about them that you know they'll read.
Both of you are supposedly adults. You need to grow up, take responsibility for your own choices, and move on. And soon.

If the whole thing was just publicity for your video, I'm disappointed in both of you. I guess “Ponzi's Schemes” is just that, schemes.

Interesting, from meeting both of you a while ago this actually strengthens some of my original thoughts

it is a safe wager that anyone who dislikes the sun as much as chris is suffering from vitamin d deficiency due to lack of sun exposure. hence, his abnormal brain function. i recommed both of you get your 25-hydroxyvitamin D levels checked. your vitamin D level should be above 32 ng/ml.
when his vitamin d levels come up short, shock him with the truth and logic of his poor relative health and make him plan the next maui trip.
http://www.mercola.com/2002/feb/23/vitamin_d_deficiency.htm
all the best,
j

Hmmm. Interesting. Does posting anonymously give some people the license to become judgemental jerks? Sure looks that way to me. The last thing anyone needs is advice from a bunch of half-wits on the Internet, therefore, I hope that everything works out for the best for you. :)

Ponzi, you truly are a kind hearted, intelligent, creative woman. There are many, many great guys in the world who would truly appreciate, respect, and love you unconditionally. Guys that you would truly be happy to be with.
Clearly, you know something isn't right about your relationship with Chris. In reading your messages over time, I can tell that you have shared the “excitement of the moment” of being involved with Chris, but the fact is, that will wear off, and it is starting to now. Then you are stuck with the day to day Chris, and up close, it isn't so pretty.
You'll need to do some real soul searching. Probably, you will consider all the time you have put into the relationship, and wonder if it is worth walking away from. Or you may wonder if things might get better, or if you could change him. (People rarely change at that age though.) More importantly, consider the time you have left in life, the time that has not passed, and think about what lies ahead for you.
Ponzi, you are too good of a person to stay in that situation. There is a great and glorious life ahead for you, and you need a true soulmate who will bring you sunshine. If you stay where you are, you may never meet him.
Please don't let this relationship bleach you of your wonderful zest for life!

Let us not forget the good times:
Exhibit A: (sorry, html not working)
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://ponzarelli.com/_photos/Image(15).jpg&imgrefurl=http://ponzarelli.com/blog/Photos/_archives/2004/7/26/112137.html&h=300&w=400&sz=15&tbnid=yWHvyN4oaQ4J:&tbnh=90&tbnw=120&hl=en&ei=SQaxQ46mAcX8JL-rlP0G&sig2=s7SL79QGoBAyBXzDM03X_w&start=195&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dponzarelli%26start%3D180%26svnum%3D100%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN

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